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i feel like ive abandond you all!! im not meaning to i promise!! ive just had a lot goging on, which should in no way shape or form be an excuse cuz i at least tried to post something once a week. 7weeks is waaay too long and i apologize for that.

tommorrow is christmas!! can you believe it??!!?? im so excited!! and in one week its the end of this decade. im so stoked to start over. and this year i may be spending new years with the most amazing guy in the world. so far at least.

maybe i dont get on here anymore cuz i have no idea what to talk about. i love all of you that take the time to read this!!


gay or straight, why should it matter?
so, this singer that i've been madly in love with for the past little while recently today announced her engagement. in the same blog post she also announced that she will be getting a sex change.

now i don't know about you, but i think people are just hypocrits!! i mean we tell our kids to be themselves, but how are they supposed to do so in this world we live in? seriously?!

I COMPLETELLY SUPPORT THE GAY COMMUNITY! hell, i'm part of it. i'm bi-sexual. this is just rediculous! it's an outrage! if you love someone you should be able to be with that person no matter what. there shouldn't be a law against it. why should we all have to go perfectly along in this perfectly STRAIGHT line? we are individuals!!!!!!!!! let us do so!

violence/discrimination/sexism; let's get rid it all! ban together! are we not supposed to be the UNITED states of america? or is that just some sort of a scam to get taxes out of us??!!

i'm 16 years old and i kno this nation is corrupte! why doesn't anyone else see that?!

get a clue people!! pay attention! let the stupid "perfect" image go!!!!! it isn't ever going to happen!!!

just got one:) feel free to follow! i like stalkers;););)

(:(:(:Brand New Eyes:):):)
so... i picked up the new paramore album last friday, but ive been busy listening to it and various other things that i havent been able to post about it.... i think that its beyond amazing! definitely worth the wait. i was so excited to actually have it in my hands that the plastic barely even stood a chance!
it was immediatelly put into a cd player and i think i listened to it for 3 hours straight. brand new eyes is like a mix between riot! and all we know is falling, but to me it seems like the band really went  back to their roots for it. the emotion that i feel behind every song is intense. i absolutely adore it:) brick by boring brick is one that i really like at the moment and i feel like i can relate to it alot.. but all of the others fall shortly in step behind it. GAH! i love paramore:)

xoxo-the amazing little one

just another helpless, hopeless, love sick melody
so i've recently realized upon breaking up with the latest victim that i have a real problem with guys...
it's like i would much rather spend my time staring at guys that don't even kno i exist then being with the guys that are right there and would want nothing but to be with me for forever and a day.. i really hate that about myself.. my heart wants to be fully there and happy, but my mind just wants to run like hell and keep everyone at a distance.
i think it might be because im scared of getting hurt so i don't want to let anyone too close.. but at the same time all i want is for someone to grab me and not let go because they understand what's going on in my head more than i even do..
one day (hopefully soon), the exact right guy will show up tho right??? i guess i won't hold my breathe til then........

saturdays are amazing!!
so last saturday, we finally had our first band practice!! it was pretty awesome:) i feel like i'm keeping our name under wraps... we call ourselves pylot starlyt :) sounds cool right?? i certainly think so!

the saturday before hand was warped tour.. it was pretty good:) my mom took me, her friend, my friend who is also one of my guitarists, and her boyfriend who counts as my drummer. i had lotsa fun. i finally got a cobra starship shirt! and i picked up the twloha shirt i've wanted for forever!!! it's the alive tank top:) i'm pretty happy about it:) actually i'm wearing it rightnow!! that's crazy!

lol i'm gonna go shower:) have a great day!! MUAH!!!!!

Musical Car Rides :)
isnt it weird how when your in the back seat of a car, ear buds in, music up as loud as you can take it, the surroundings seem to pass by to the sound of the music? the bumpiest road could quite possibly be the smoothest ride youve ever had. cars that pass or you pass or whatever get controled by the beat.. HAh! its an amazing feeling:) especially when the top is off.... i think its mainly the music adding its little magical touch on an otherwise normal activity... thats why music is.. well life really:D

signin off
         the amazing little one

*now that your emotions shook, i pull you in*
so much to say...

we've got a new dog. she's a 5 month old pit bull. cute as a button. very obidiant too. its always a good thing when you find a good dog that you dont have to put way too much effort into to train.

my band keeps having to push back our first official band practice on the count of im grounded. woot woot go me!! lol but we think we have finally concreted the members. theres me as lead, my jakx as guitar, kylie as bass, lance as lead guitar, and jakxs matt beating up the drums. im so excited! a find myself writing our name out on everything i most possibly can... oh well. plenty of writing space on practically anything if you ask me:] the lyric writing process is.. interesting.. sometimes its easier than others.

ive met this guy.... hes pretty cool.. very very hard to read, hardeer than any other guy ive tried to read... bleh..

i'll post more later if i get the chance to.

love ya much!!!
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sad news.....
so my household learned today that my adorable eleven year old rottweiler has cancer..
its horrible that such a terrible thing would happen to an amazing creature.. but considering that the rest of his litter passed on  years ago, it is an incredible miracle that he is still around
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PARAMORE LAST NIGHT!!!! AMAZING!!! not as good as when they opened for jimmy, but the new songs were amazing!!! i cant wait for the album to drop!! so excited!!

and update on my band: we're all coming together very nicely:) im so excited for that too!! we got our name and pretty much all the members:) now comes practice and all that jazz:)

love mucho!!!! ;)

well i havent posted in while so i figured i would:)

oh my goodnes!! PARAMORE MAY 25TH!!!! im so stoked!! counting down the days on my calender!!

so my friend brittany is over and would like to let everyone know that any aliens you may or may not see really only want to be cowboys so be nice to the poor creatures:) most random gril you would ever meet:):) but thats why we love her! the beautiful thing!! haha

well apparently one day we will rule so everyone should be nice to us:) lol.

PEACENESS!!!-shai and britt

guess what i did!?

i pierced my belly button!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~the~world~would~be~a~very~dull~place~if~we~didnt~have~people~looking out~for~us!~
so my day was just about horrible! me and my friend person got into this humongo sized fight and it is very safe to say that i dont kno if we'll be coming back out of this one as well as the other few we have had. everyone could tell i was in just a bad mood, but instead of them avoiding me as normal people do they all just kind of jumped on me and it made me feel special for a minute...

my friend discovered this amazing band for me! they're called blood on the dance floor... oh my goodness! they're hilarious! if your into mindless self indulgence the botdf is a band you seriously need to check out!

this kid after school today completelly stepped on me! i mean i kno im little and it was only a matter of time before someone did but i could have waited a little bit longer! he literally came out of no where, backwards, and now there is this huge bruise on my ankle and even the slightest touch s sending me into a world of agony! stupid kid...

so here is the story i promised to post.. its kinda lame, and i think it is missing something but writer's block kicked in and i cant think of what else to add to it so yeah... feel free to throw some ideas my way!!!!!!

a noise like hammer against steel sounded outside my bedroom window and my heart skipped a beat. i followed the sound down the hall to the back window and peeked through the blinds.
yardwork. more yardwork. like there was room for it all. the nieghbor boy had offered to help this time though.
as i watched he laid hisgloves down and motioned towards the house in my direction. parents shook heads and muted lips said "go on in".
he stood up and walked straight towards me. that was it. that was when i realized my feelings ran deeper than i thought for this kid. whether it was fear of love or something else im not sure. all i know is that i felt that as soon as i got ahold of him, i wouldnt be able to let go.
the space between him and the door was disintegrating with every passing breath, and not knowing exactly what to do, i fled to the other room. feet on stairs. the door opening, then closing. footsteps leading through the kitchen growing louder. my name being called.
he entered the room and i looked up at him from where i had settled myself on the couch. our eyes locked in that one second and i forgot how to breath.
words were not spoken. he crossed over to me and scooped me up in his arms and sat me in his lap in one swooping motion.
and there we sat. holding each other. our lips met and i thought i was going to faint.

a random day calls for even more random thoughts!!!!!!!!!
i had an extremelly excellent day which means i was hyper and jumping off the walls... which as most anyone can tell you means that i was so random it was pathetic. i got to thinking in one of my very boring classes (i think it was spanish but i honestly couldnt tell you exactly) about things that were either right in front of me or there was another thought that led there and after a while i decided to write it all down so that i could get a good laugh and realize how big of a freak everyone thinks i am, so please if you dont want your head to hurt dont continue!!! or if you had a bad day keep reading... and keep in mind it took me less than five minutes to write ths all down...

*why are we stuck in school for so long almost every day?? its almost completelly pointless!!! keeping people locked up for so long does things to the brain. i wont be surprised if one day someone goes so crazy that they start a riot and end up in an assylum..
*there should a warning label on all beverages that says "WARNING!!!! leads to tinkling!" just about everything these days has one!!! *americans were destined to be obese due to the fact that santa claus is fat, and if you notice, hes the only fat santa that exists in any country... PLEASE PROVE ME WRONG!!
*packing sucks especially when there is no real goal in sight as the where.... yes you heard it here first!! shai taylor is moving!! joyus joy right?? its supposed to be yet another fresh start. this will be my... third??? yeah that sounds about right.the only difference this time is that i dont need it!! i am exactly where i want to be right now.. well not exactly but in order to get where i want.. no! need to be, i kinda have to stay in utah for a little while longer... oh! i didnt mention what the "goal" is! arizona. only a state a way. ha! annie should sing a song about that! ha ha :)

i promise i thought it would be a tad bit funnier... oh well... lets see.. torie if you decide to read this before i steal jaki's phone tomorrow: your a hyppacrit... i messed up. i kno i did. have many mistakes have you made and i have stayed by your side for??? hmmmm??? countless... its really sad that you would let this screw us up when you have messed up way more than i have... and your mistakes have been worse so dont even give me that. pull yourself out of your little feel-sorry-for-me phase and realize i need you!!!
hm... anyone kno any people lokking for a spot in a band? there are a couple of openings in mine!! if im around that long that is... or if you live in the tempe, arizona area look me up in a couple months!!!
hm...... i feel like writing a song... or a short story... i havent decided yet... i'll try and remember to post it later if i get a chance!!!

love ya bunches!!!!


soooo... i'm sitting at my aunt and uncle's house working on a story that i'm starting to have writer's block for.... and i thought i'd work on my typing abilities (are you technically a 1-finger typist if you use all your fingers, but not how they teach you in schools? or are you just a normal typist?)... i'm sore all over and i don't know why... i feel sort of trashy cuz i have bite marks all over me and the person who gave them to me is (supposedly) in a "relationship", but it wasn't like 'oh hey i want you so i'm gonna bite you' it was 'ha! i'm bored so there now you've been bitten'... although i must confess: i really like the kid.... and speaking on that similar subject: my ex and i are almost back together but not quite cuz he does have girls that are still running around them and i swear one more dirty look from them and there will be... something i still haven't decided... 

the back of my eyelids sound very comforting right now but everytime i close them someone's face pops into my head and refuses to go away and the thing is it's never the same face... and that really slows the creative writing process also because it's never really someone that i want to see and when i try to visualize the person i want to see (like the main character in my story for example) they alwaysseem to get farther an farther from my focal point so i just give up and stare at the blank wall....

luckily, there is a plus side to la-la-land: time to think. why that's aplus is beyond me cuz it always makes me feel horrible... i never feel like i've accomplished anything... i've wanted to be a published writer since 6th grade but i can never find an ending for anything i ever write... openings fo stories are so easy cuz you can pretty much start them however you'd like, but the ending always gets all switched around with every twist you decide to throw in to make you story sound interesting...

another thing: i would love to start a band. why haven't i? try finding time in my life that wouldn't piss off my mom... don't get me wrong, love her to death. but seriously sometimes she just takes control too much... my torie-bear would love to be in the imaginary, fictional band i want... but she's the only one who understands who i am and what i'm aiming for... i could say something completelly random and off subject and she would know exactly where i was coming from... (i'd throw in a picture but there isn't one of her on this computer... future post maybe?)

before i sound like i'm just sitting here completelly wallowing in self-pitty, i'm going to test and see if my writer's block could possibly lift for... five minutes(?) max... then to go stare at faces that will just randomly pop up in the darkness (hopefully not)...

<3/ (insert amazing tag line that i can't think of right now)
shai the awesomest :-/

i realize this is the first entry and it should be something completelly amazing.... but i really don't have much to say... today was one of those blah days where everything happened, yet nothing happened at the same time... i haven't talked to my torie in so long i miss her so much! i should go call her... but then again i should go call alot of people....

i hate being in this house for long periods of time. i get clostrophobic. how do you spell that? i don't even care. my feet are cold...

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! paramore just came on... they're amazing.  i saw them when they came in april w/ jimmy eat world. amazing show. they need to come back.

my friends drew all over my feet at school today... well my ankles too but you can see my feet more since i'm in my skinny's. winter is a terrible season that makes me cold. but it's all good cuz i love these pants- so comfy i could sleep in them. hell i think i have before.

i'm signing off to go blare my music on the big speakers down the hall cuz they're really loud and i love them to death!
<3/ xoxoxo