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boredom_at_the_peaks_of_sleeplesness...
shai
blondefirefly

soooo... i'm sitting at my aunt and uncle's house working on a story that i'm starting to have writer's block for.... and i thought i'd work on my typing abilities (are you technically a 1-finger typist if you use all your fingers, but not how they teach you in schools? or are you just a normal typist?)... i'm sore all over and i don't know why... i feel sort of trashy cuz i have bite marks all over me and the person who gave them to me is (supposedly) in a "relationship", but it wasn't like 'oh hey i want you so i'm gonna bite you' it was 'ha! i'm bored so there now you've been bitten'... although i must confess: i really like the kid.... and speaking on that similar subject: my ex and i are almost back together but not quite cuz he does have girls that are still running around them and i swear one more dirty look from them and there will be... something i still haven't decided... 

the back of my eyelids sound very comforting right now but everytime i close them someone's face pops into my head and refuses to go away and the thing is it's never the same face... and that really slows the creative writing process also because it's never really someone that i want to see and when i try to visualize the person i want to see (like the main character in my story for example) they alwaysseem to get farther an farther from my focal point so i just give up and stare at the blank wall....

luckily, there is a plus side to la-la-land: time to think. why that's aplus is beyond me cuz it always makes me feel horrible... i never feel like i've accomplished anything... i've wanted to be a published writer since 6th grade but i can never find an ending for anything i ever write... openings fo stories are so easy cuz you can pretty much start them however you'd like, but the ending always gets all switched around with every twist you decide to throw in to make you story sound interesting...

another thing: i would love to start a band. why haven't i? try finding time in my life that wouldn't piss off my mom... don't get me wrong, love her to death. but seriously sometimes she just takes control too much... my torie-bear would love to be in the imaginary, fictional band i want... but she's the only one who understands who i am and what i'm aiming for... i could say something completelly random and off subject and she would know exactly where i was coming from... (i'd throw in a picture but there isn't one of her on this computer... future post maybe?)

before i sound like i'm just sitting here completelly wallowing in self-pitty, i'm going to test and see if my writer's block could possibly lift for... five minutes(?) max... then to go stare at faces that will just randomly pop up in the darkness (hopefully not)...

<3/ (insert amazing tag line that i can't think of right now)
shai the awesomest :-/

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